Braindead Shithead

I'd like to announce to everyone that "The View" is officially over.
Why, you may ask? You don't remember recieving the memo that it was cancelled?
Well, dear god, this is one thing I NEVER could have predicted.

ROSIE O'DONNELL IS REPLACING MEREDITH VIERA.

That's all I have to say.


Right. Of course it's not.
I like Rosie, I actually do. I always thought she was funny, intelligent, and articulate. And she's risen from being a comic to being a powerful, positive force in the gay community.
But somehow, I don't see how replacing the moderator person on that show with a fat angry lesbian is going to win it any viewers.
I'm seeing a cage match, Rosie and Star.

Star: "I just love my man, he's such a stallion in the sack."
Rosie: "What, is that some kind of crack on me being a fat angry lesbian? GRRRAAAA!"

Rosie leaps at Star, and rips out her skeevy weave with her bare hands, and rips out her neck with her bare teeth.
Then, she growls at the blonde (who is pointless fluff) and growls "You're next, breeder bitch!"

Okay, so maybe not. But really, I have to say that her past few years as fat angry lesbian spokeswoman has sort of made it look like she's the opposite of round table morning coffee chat.
Is "The View" looking for more of an edge? This would do it.
Though, getting rid of fluff girl would help a lot more.

Here is an old favorite of mine.
Clearly, a man in absolute denial.
Of what? Well, pretty much EVERYTHING, that's all I'm sayin' here.

Check him out here.
And don't be shy. Check around.
He's got "Fashion Pages".

If anything says "Please god somebody shoot me" more than this, I don't know what it could be.

The "man" is 52.
Is it just me, or is somebody seeing a "40 Year Old Virgin" sequel?

I love the site Rock and Roll Confidential. There you can find scads of cheezy rock & rollers, all thinking they're the baddest thing since Charlie Manson. I haven't made it through the entire site yet, but here are some of my favorites so far.

We're running out of fingers! On with the countdown for Multiplication Rock, this time with "Lucky Seven Sampson".

What do you get when Robert "Baretta" Blake and Gavin "Captain Stubing" McLeod sing a duet?

Pain!

This granny packs a pretty mean wallop! Ouch!

Once upon a time, Genesis was a Prog band. While they weren't my favorite band at the time, even with Peter Gabriel and Steve Hackett, I must admit The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway is a remarkable album. I always thought their talent never quite matched their vision, but they gave it a good go, which is the important thing.

Here are a few old school Genesis videos from YouTube (of course), and a brief biographical piece on the 'Peter Gabriel Years'.

I really like this video, though it freaks me the fuck out. I think it's a song called "Random Summer" by the band múm. See what you think.



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Tenacious D and John Kricfalusi.
"Now that's what I call teamwork!"

but I will never be able to properly sing a Type O Negative song.
Never.
Because Peter Steele has a Barry White kind of voice, and me?
I sound suspiciously like a cheerleader.
It's a cross I've born admirably, but it's still a burden at times.
Like when people ask to speak to my mother on the phone.
Though, it happens occasionally to my gram, so I come by it honestly.

Anyway, all that blather just means I'm putting up a TON video.
JR made me think of them.
I think this is my favorite video of theirs (since we're all about the videos here. Plus, I don't know where my CDS are, or even how to put audio on here-shh, don't tell!)
Though, my fave song of theirs is their cover of "Summer Breeze".
Trust me, I sound like an ass singing along.




And, just so's you all understand about what my voice sounds like, here I am, singing "These Boots Are Made for Walking". Because I love that song (the original, mind), and I had threatened a friend.

This, my friends, this is the opposite of Viagra.
This, it's for that moment when your SO is fondling your thing (and whatever else she can reach) under the table during Sunday dinner at grandma's, or if you've just had a dirty thought about the co-worker giving a presentation.
Not having a penis myself, I've heard there is a possibility for embarrassment when standing? (At least, one would hope there is)

HAVE NO FEAR, MADAME D IS HERE!
That's right, I'm here to save the day.
So, the next time you're at your daughter/niece's school play, and think "Hot damn, who's the foxy teacher?" at the wrong moment, you can whip out any one of these fine pictures (for best results, print, cut out face, and laminate for easy wallet portability) to quench that burning desire in seconds (or less!)! Practically guaranteed (sometimes, there's no accounting for taste.).


Jessica Lange, what happened?




Meet Amanda Lepore. If you want to see more, you can always go to her website. I'm sure you're just dying to go there!




And, a little something here for the ladies...

Let us hope Mr. Blake rights the ship before it's too late!

Experience the newest temptation from...

Highlight for answer > Dasani™ bottled drinking water. (Click image to be bombarded with advertising.) <

Thought I'd kick out a couple of slow jams for this Sunday (though it's pretty late for most of you). A mix of the old and new, but all slow-jammy goodness!

Look, I grew up in Alaska.
From the age of 5 until a month before I turned 21.
Dude, I know what it's like up there.

I have a friend who has, the last time we talked about this, 9 guns.
I'm sure he has more now.
Most of the people I knew had at least one gun, for hunting if nothing else.
Including my stepdad. At least one handgun, and I don't know about rifles. Maybe 2, since he took a couple of my brothers hunting? Thankfully, he's got more brains than most, and has them unloaded and in gun safes, but not always.
He used to have his hunting rifle in their bedroom closet. I remember seeing the soft-sided case in there, and looking back I KNOW he didn't have the big gun safe then.

Fairbanks, Alaska - Six middle school students in a small Alaska town were arrested Saturday on suspicion of plotting to bring guns and knives to school to kill their classmates and faculty.

The students had planned to disable North Pole Middle School’s power and telephone systems, allotting time to kill their victims and escape from North Pole, a town of 1,600 people about 14 miles southeast of Fairbanks, Police Chief Paul Lindhag said.

The seventh-graders wanted to seek revenge for being picked on by other students, Lindhag said. They also disliked staff and students, he said.


Well, at least they had a plan. And, as far as school shootings go, a pretty good one-cut the power and telephone lines first.
On the other hand, this is why so many conspiracies fail-too many people. They suspended 15 of the little darlings.

The students could face charges of first-degree conspiracy to commit murder, authorities said.

The North Pole boys, whose names were not released, were among 15 students at the school who were suspended after a parent tipped police Monday evening. A child told the parent that rumors were circulating about the alleged plot, which had been postponed from Monday until Tuesday, Lindhag said.
I've been to Fairbanks. North Pole, too. It's a little shit stain of a town that sees a lot of mail come Christmas, but that's about the only thing it's good for.

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