Braindead Shithead

This time from NASA, with their super-duper elephant trunk thingie.

How braindead must one be to get wiped out by a fucking airplane? Pretty braindead!



(Via)

So, you've probably all seen this. But it's mildly amusing. Granted there's no breast flashing or de-pantsing but I still think it's worthy of the Shithead Seal of Approval. Speaking of which, we should have a Shithead Seal of Approval. What symbol would be emblematic of Braindead Shithead?

Yahoo! News (Associated Press): O.J. Pulls White Bronco Prank on 'Juiced'

In a scene from his new candid-camera program "Juiced,"
O.J. Simpson pulls a prank involving the infamous white Bronco...

. . .

As part of the pay-per-view show, Simpson pretends to sell the Bronco at a used car lot and boasts to a prospective buyer that he made the vehicle famous...

. . .

"It was good for me — it helped me get away," Simpson said, referring to the slow-speed, televised police chase that preceded his 1994 arrest...

It occurs to me that I might be able to get away with cross-posting these things from my other place. (Don't hate me because I'm lazy.)

Random 11, Vol. 11 (Does any numerologist want to take a stab at the significance of that?)

Fire up the jukebox, don't skip over anything, and take the first eleven that pop up. [Norbizness]

1. On Every Street -- Dire Straits -- Infused with a sentimental melancholy yet it still feels good to listen. And the lyrics. -- 8/10


2. A God In an Alcove -- Bauhaus -- Did Bauhaus record all their tunes in an empty warehouse to get that ambience? -- 6/10


3. It's the Law -- Social Distortion -- Channeling a Johnny Cash sensibility through Mike Ness' nasal cavity. -- 5.5/10


4. Pain Lies on the Riverside -- Live -- This song pre-dates the time I gouged out of my own head any goodwill I may have once had for Live, along with the piece of brain that harbored the full lyrics of their relentlessly popular 1994-95 offering Lightning Crashes, which I had been subjected to no less than 11,680 times. I'll not forgive you either, popular radio. As such, this song is retroactively down rated. -- 3/10


5. This Cocaine Makes Me Feel Like I'm on This Song -- System of a Down -- Hard drivin' like you expect from SOAD. Bonus points for the great title. -- 7/10


6. Fuck Tha Police -- NWA -- Your Montag is a adherent of the East Coast school, but NWA gets points for their place in history, and the infectious beat backing up this track. -- 6.5/10


7. Triad -- Tool -- Favoritism prevails when I rate Tool songs. -- 8.5/10


8. Sifting -- Nirvana -- Bleach was where it was at with Nirvana, and is the only one of their albums I have committed to my mp3 device. (Though to be fair, Never Mind would have made the cut if my computer had been able to read it.) This song is very great. -- 8/10


9. Shake Your Rump -- Beastie Boys -- Excellent track off cult favorite Paul's Boutique, the beat lushly filled out with myriad samples compiled by the genius Dust Brothers. -- 7.5/10


10. Sonic Wasteland -- Hunger -- The main refrain of this song is, "I'm a killing machine." Which I just love. I was once embarrassed on the job when I delivered the line -- deadpan -- to a co-worker, without turning around to look first, only to discover that he was speaking with the boss at the time, who may or may not have been impressed with my unique wit. How is a stiff, serious-minded, management-type to react to one of their charges calling out, seemingly for no reason, "Hey, John--- I'm a killing machine!"? Up-rated for the great refrain, then down-rated for the trouble it once got me in. -- 5/10


11. Crackity Jones -- The Pixies -- Great example of why I love the Pixies. It's only downfall: it's too short. -- 8/10

Bonus #12 Invisible Kid -- Metallica -- Your Montag has the dubious distinction of actually liking St. Anger. I think that must put me in the 99.9 percentile of Metallica fans. (Or is it the 0.01 percentile?)

Average rating this week was 6.6, which is about par for the course with my muzak collection. Or, to use the scoring system I devised last week, I have +, =, =, -, +, =, +, +, +, =, + for an aggregate of +5.

"Naughty Number Nine" continues Multiplication Rock this week. I always felt sorry for the little mouse.

Or, How to get a bunch of people to create the next superflu by self-diagnosing and forcing the virus to evolve further.

Alternate title courtesy of gthing, a commenter over at Make. Click image for link.



If this is supposed to be a 'do-it-yourself' project, I'm gonna need easier directions.

[Via: Majikthise]

I love pictures of stupid sports fans being...well...stupid. Baseball is the best. When the baseball is hit into the crowd, the reaction shots are priceless. Here are a few of my favorites.


Is he trying to catch the ball or eat it?


Is anything other than sex really worth losing your pants over?


Run away! Run away!


The hated Bartman. What a douchebag.


The look on granny's face is priceless.


"And so began many years of therapy for little Johnny."

"Everyone in this goddamned store is wearing a blue shirt and nobody knows a thing!"

Improv Everywhere Mission: Best Buy

This post is dedicated to the great Penelope Spheeris films, Decline of Western Civilization I and II. So damn good. I never saw Part III, but I can't imagine it could top the first two. All hail Darby Crash! I can't wait for his biopic to come out (with Chris Pontius, no less!).

This glorious little tidbit comes from USA Today.

BERLIN (AFP) — A 56-year-old German living in Paraguay is seeking to become the legal father of 1,000 foreign children so they can have German nationality, education and social benefits, Der Speigel reports in its edition to appear on Monday.

Jurgen Hass, a former local leader of the liberal Free Democrats party, told the weekly magazine he intended to exploit grey areas in Germany's paternity law to do so.

He said he had already legally recognized 300 children in Paraguay, Romania, Hungary, Moldavia, Russia, Ukraine and India.

Hass told Der Spiegel he was "playing" with Germany's 1998 paternity law, which allows men to legally recognise a child when the mother agrees and no other man claims to be the father.



While this is certainly cool, that he can help all those kids, I also have to say that here, if you have two kids, you have the right to 49% of the guy's income as child support.
That is all.

It's true
I know, you're all wondering what this has to do with the video I'm posting.
I'm getting there.

So, anyway, I was tooling around my links today, and checked out HKD's spot. She's a fellow Content Whore, and for some reason (like living in actually interesting places where they have concerts and real radio stations, etc.) is always up on cool new music.
Anyway, she's got some widget on the side about what she's currently listening to, whatever, today I clicked on it.
One of the top songs listed on there was this one, by a band called Metric, "Monster House".
I only decided to check it out because after the title it had "MSTRKRFT REMIX". I love me some MSTRKRFT remixes (check out the one he did for Panthers, "Thank Me With Your Hands". You won't be sorry)

Anyway, I checked out the video on youtube, and loved it.
It was only until about 20 minutes ago, when remembering that I wanted to post it on here, that I remembered that my friend Kev asked me last week if I'd ever heard of Metric, and when I said no, he said to check them out.

Now, I will tell him, and that I loved them, too.
And y'know, I'll even tell him the whole sad story that I totally forgot he told me first. I mean, I already told you guys.

Anyways, time for me to shut up and actually post the damn video.

Take my advise and upgrade to the automatic. The ride is much smoother.

Did I just type that? I'm sorry.

(No I'm not.)

No. really, I am.

(Not.)

This is pretty incredible. Watch the difference in response to the "Tickle-Me Elmo" doll from Africanized bees and European bees. It's funny and scary at the same time!

Madame reported on one incident, now here's another instance of those crazy promo kits being mistaken for bombs. This is particularly funny because it happened at a theatre Mrs. J.R. and I used to frequent while living in Columbus!


(Via) with a little creative editing on my part.

OK, I have another confession. You'll remember a couple of months ago I confessed to having Styx as one of my favorite bands of all times. Well, this time you find out the disturbing truth. I also like J-Pop. It's music that doesn't require a whole lot of thinking (especially if you don't know the language) and some of it is surprisingly good. It's what Britney Spears should have been aspiring to but decided to make a living off soft-core porn set to electropoop music. In any event, if the Shitheads aren't too pained by J-Pop, maybe I'll do a semi-regular J-Pop Sunday feature.

AL GORE VIRUS - Causes your computer to just keep counting and counting.

MONICA LEWINSKY VIRUS - sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.

MIKE TYSON VIRUS - quits after one byte

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS - your 300mb hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100mb and then slowly expands to 200mb.

DR. JACK KEVORKAIN VIRUS - deletes all old files.

ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS - you can no longer insert disks into your computer.

TITANIC VIRUS - your whole computer goes down.

DISNEY VIRUS - everything in your computer goes Goofy.

PROZAC VIRUS - screws up your ram, but your processer doesn't care.

JOEY BUTTAFUCCO VIRUS - only attacks minor files.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS - terminates some files, leaves, but it'll be back.

LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS - turns your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy.

VIAGGRRA VIRUS - turns your 3.5 inch floppy into a hard drive.