Braindead Shithead

Watch and learn from the master, kiddies!

Don't you hate it? You're having nice meal out somewhere and suddenly monkeys come and spoil everything.

Probably the only time you'll see Storm Troopers and the Rebel Alliance playing well together.





I'm sure Hooper X will be all kinds of happy to see Vader's beautiful black visage restored.

Lovely piece of CGI. What can I say? I'm easily amused.

Big thanks to Music for Maniacs for the words and the sounds. Be advised: This is truly awful, but in a trainwreck kinda way.

In 1995, The Phoeniz (AZ) New Times received a demo tape from one John North Wright. The tape began with the growly voice of a middle-to-senior aged man announcing, ""Hi, I'm John Wright. Uh . . . all these songs are copyrighted 1985, words and music by myself. Uh, conceptually, they form the songs for a, uh, rock video opera I have written in my mind. It's set mostly in Hawaii and the Orient. It's called Teenage Volleyballers." What follows is an interminable tuneless guitar & voice meditation on, yup, teenage volleyballers, with little to say about them except that they're "out of sight."

**Seems Bolt is having some trouble loading. I think this file killed it!

Did Dustin Diamond actually blow through whatever money he earned from Saved By The Bell and is about to be homeless? Given that Howard Stern is associated with it I'm leaning toward thinking it's some kind of weird Stern joke. If it is a joke, then Stern has really sunk to a low level and it really says something about the state of our entertainment industry. Then again Stern has already made a career out of shit like this. Feh! It's stuff like this that make me realize why I haven't owned a TV in almost 6 years now.

Alofa Time

That's the dude's name. I pulled this off Fark, but I can't imagine it's not all over the cable "news" networks as I write this.

Here's the gist; a car crash between some dude in a pickup truck and a woman with her kid. Police show up and find a severed head at the scene. Thing is...nobody lost a head! Yeah. Seems Mr. Time apparently murdered someone, cut off their head, then deliberately crashed into the lady's car. Nobody knows why he did this (suicide, perhaps?), but I'm sure they will ask him...he's doing fine.

You could ask the lady and her kid if they were part of the plan, except they were both killed.

Assholes like this really test my pacifist nature.

"Satan Has Been Paralyzed!"

I don't know how I missed this on the great WFMU, but someone already snagged it for YouTube. To further my hypothesis that Christianity is a doctrine of violence--despite the peaceful teachings of its namesake--here is a video of puppets singing about kicking Satan's ass.

Just when you'd thought I'd gone totally otaku, suddenly we veer hard left into 1960s American cool jazz. But this isn't just any old cool jazz. It's Dizzy Fuckin' Gillespie you Shitheads! What? You don't think Dizzy could play the laid back west coast sound? Phphht! You don't know jack, cats! And to prove you all wrong, here's a limited pressing (only 5,000 copies you lamers!) reissue of Dizzy Gillespie's 1961 album Perceptions.

This is your homework gang. Because you ain't heard nothing like this. Hit the damn play button, turn out the lights, and lay back and just groove to the sound. Believe me, when that last trill on the trumpet fades away, you'll be thanking me.

Tracks: Sword of Orion, Jubelo, Blue Mist, Fantasia, Horn of Plenty, Ballade

Review: This unusual session consists of a complex six-movement suite by J.J. Johnson featuring Dizzy Gillespie's trumpet over a brass choir (six trumpets, two trombones, two bass trombones, four French horns and two tubas), bass, drums, percussion and two harps. Often reminiscent of classical music, Johnson's writing allows plenty of room for Gillespie to improvise. The result is a rather unique set of music that is well worth searching for. ~ Scott Yanow, All Music Guide ~

Personnel: Dizzy Gillespie, Bernie Glow, Robert Nagel, Ernie Royal, Doc Severinsen, Nick Travis (tp) Paul Faulise, Urbie Green, Dick Hixson, Jimmy Knepper (tb) John Barrows, Jim Buffington (frh) Harvey Phillips, William Stanley (tu) Gloria Agostini, Laura Newell (harp) George Duvivier (b) Charlie Persip (d) J.J. Johnson (arr) Gunther Schuller (cond)

Recorded: NYC, May 18, 1961

I guess it was pretty common practice in the 50's and 60's for American performers to do German versions of their songs. I found this thanks to a great site, The Orange Cornflake Zoo. Some recognizable Americans doing German versions of their songs. Some versions are pretty good (I guess it's impossible for Roy Orbison or Marvin Gaye to sound bad in any language). Others versions...not so much (It's Pat Boone...you do the math).

When does Seagal do his German album?


Chubby Checker - "Let's Twist Again!"
Johnny Cash - "Walk the Line"
Marvin Gaye - "How Sweet It Is"
The Beach Boys - "Ganz Allein"
Roy Orbison - "Mama"
The Temptations - "Mein Girl"
Willie Nelson - "Little Darling"
Pat Boone - "Baby Sonnenschein"

(VIA)

Your Montag hasn't been pulling my weight around here lately. I am sorry. I can't promise this will change soon, but here's a small offering to the blogs. (And to the animal lovers that frequent Braindead Shithead.)

It's a cool little slideshow (just three pictures) from Yahoo! News Photos. The link should take you into the third picture. Click backward for dramatic effect! The money shot is the first one (that is, the last one you'll see if you follow my directions.)

Well, we're going to get about as far from J-Pop as you can and still be in Japan. This week we have some Japanese punk from The Blue Hearts. While I don't believe this band was overly popular in Japan, a couple of their tunes are widely used such as Train Train and Linda Linda. I'm not normally a big punk fan, though I do love The Clash, but the energy and enthusiasm this band puts into their tunes makes me smile. The second vid in this set has a spoken introduction so if that bugs you, skip to 55 seconds into the video and you'll get to the music.

Set List: Mirai Wa Bokurano Te No Naka, Jyounetsu No Bara, Train Train, Kiss Shite Hoshii, Linda Linda.

I don't blame you if you're frustrated with this week's edition of SIM; I'm frustrated with it! I usually try to find a semi-coherent theme (believe it or not) for these things. My tastes were all over the place this week, however, and the list certainly reflects this.

You basically have two 5-song playlists. The first set of 5 songs are very accessible, even poppy in places (Boy Kill Boy's album Civilian might be the best collection of pop songs so far this year). Also, "Mother Dear" is probably the most unabashedly sentimental song you'll ever hear on this site.

The second set of 5 songs is very strange and diverse--from ambient to funky, with one noisy and one experimental song thrown in for good measure. Pay special attention to the epic bit of noise by Paik. They kinda sound like a noisier version of Interpol, minus the vocals. Good stuff--it's been playing all week on my office CD player.

I didn't plan to have a wacky list, it just happened that way. Here you go.
Runtime: 42 minutes