Braindead Shithead

...online pregnancy tests!

Look at the amazing results I got...



Personally, I had the BEST laugh at the name.
"Caleb" is my ex-husband's name, and Brandon is the name of one of his best friends. I got custody of him in the divorce. Heh.

Though, how I'm getting to Pennsylvania by December-and managing to get a pool boy in the meantime-are a little misty, I have no doubt of the amazing accuracy of this test.

"The Art of Bleeding"

Introduction to First Aid (2005, 24MB, 13 min.) Here is a curious video that takes a while to get a handle on. Once you're tuned in, though, it gets funnier and funnier--in a creepy way. From the LA based educational cult/performance art group Art of Bleeding Foundation.

Watch movie (Quicktime, , )

Original post, from DVblog:

(Via Mefeedia)

From Multiplication Rock comes "Ready Or Not, Here I Come".

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but Mark Mothersbaugh has clearly lost his fucking mind.
I'm talking about THIS...this horrible, evil, abomination...
DEVO 2.0

The blonde girl scares me. Bad.

This is what Amazon has to say about it.

Devo 2.0, as all the Nickolodeon-watching world knows, is a kiddie spinoff of the original upside-down flower-pot wearing New Wave band.
But that's not to say Devo 2.0 isn't a whole heap of fun, or that Disney, with this first outing on its Disney Sound imprint, isn't onto something. 2.0, more than anything, is the anti-Kidz Bop: here are five kids, ages 10 to 13, deeply in touch with their dorky sides in the same way their weirdly dressed mentors were, and here are five kids who can sing with distinction. Add to that the danceability of these tracks, and all the naysaying seems baselessly grouchy. Spin it and see if you don't find yourself singing a different tune--one with "bring on the Go-Gos" in it. They're Disney Sound's next signing, and they'll undergo the same kids-take-the-mike treatment. --Tammy La Gorce

"The concept is about the energy and aesthetic of Devo being passed like an Olympic torch to a new generation," said Devo frontman Gerald V. Casale, who directed all 11 newly created music videos on the DVD. The platinum-selling band handpicked kids Nicole, Jackie, Nathan, Michael, and Kane to don the famous "energy domes" and become Devo 2.0; unlike the original Devo, Devo 2.0 is a co-ed affair, with lead singer Nicole and keyboardist Jackie lending diversity to the Devo chemistry. "I'm honored to be the new Mark Mothersbaugh!" declared Nicole.

"Devo is one of my favorite bands," Buena Vista Music Group EVP & GM David Agnew said in a recent interview. "I think their music was years ahead of its time--and is timeless... it's playful and great to dance to, which is the key to any good kids' music. When you consider that Disney has been responsible for some of the most popular children's music of all time, and that most people trust Disney to bring them music that is appropriate for their kids, it seemed like a winning combination to me."


What do I have to say about it?

Mother fuckin' Disney.
Michael Eisner go to hell!
Seriously, this guy claims that Devo is one of his favorite bands-does he fucking know what "Whip It" is about? Jesus Christ! Does he even know what "Devo" stood for?

Founded at Kent State University in 1972 by art students Gerald V. Casale and Mark Mothersbaugh, Devo took their name and ideology from the concept of "de-evolution," the idea that mankind has regressed rather than evolved. Sharp social satire was the driving force behind their songs. Devo's obsession with technology, pioneering use of synthesizers and highly stylized music videos made it a seminal band. The band is Mark Mothersbaugh (vocals, keyboards, guitar), Gerald V. Casale (vocals, bass, keyboards), Bob Mothersbaugh (guitar, vocals), and Bob Casale (guitar, keyboards, vocals).

Right, it TOTALLY SCREAMS KID'S MUSIC!!!
Somebody fuckin' save me.
Or get me a good turntable, so I can listen to my Devo in peace.

This is Brandon Hardesty.
He re-enacts movies.
Small scenes, but still.

First up, Pulp Fiction. The "War Watch" scene.



"The Shining".
"You're breaking my concentration."



Not bad, and really, who doesn't love Christopher Walken?

Here is his user page on You Tube, if you feel so inclined to check out anything else he's done.
Personally, I like the "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" clip.

An 80's Finnish music video called "I Wanna Love You Tender" by Armi & Danny

Sometimes the Japanese scare me...

Here is the answer. In case you need a warning...yeah, there is nudity in this clip.


See other naked world records by clicking the picture below.

UPDATE: Damn, YouTube flagged me for this!!! Sorry if you didn't get to see it. If you follow the link with the picture above, I think the video is on their site somewhere. Sorry.

...at the mall! Where else?

(via)

Al Gore has a movie coming out. Yes, that Al Gore, and yes a real movie. Well, a documentary, but that still counts.

It's called An Inconvenient Truth, and it documents, visually and powerfully, the impact humans are having on the planet. Though this is Gore's baby all the way (made and financed by his environmental organization), I wish he would have stepped aside and let someone else tell the story. Now it will be dismissed as just another "political movie", and will be ignored by those who really need to see it. We don't need another movie that preaches to the choir; we need the SUV-driving lunkheads to see it.

Still, it will probably get some media attention, which is good. Be sure to keep an eye out for this movie. I know it opens here in Seattle on June 2, so it will probably hit the rest of the country in July or August. Here is the trailer.

I understand all the elements are parts from the car being advertised, and they did several takes before getting the whole thing to work in one continuous shot. I don't know, but it seems to me they must have had some kind of weights in the tires to make them roll uphill. (?)

Anyway, Madame gave me license to post this oldie-but-goodie; so with no more ado, here it is -- The Honda Accord Commercial:

Rumor has it Steve Jobs has licensed these devices and after an image makeover will market the line of personal contraptions as the iRube.

Okay, considering that we've had "The Safety Dance" posted on here at least twice-clearly, we love this song-I thought it only right to put this little clip on here.

It's a bit from the VH1 show "True Spin", about the true stories behind hit songs. This is about "The Safety Dance", and has a tiny bit of interview with the lead singer.

For the record, I think he's still hot.

This, my friends, is just what I needed to kick my anticipation of Paris Hilton's new album up a notch.
(It comes out in June. First single out May 9th. "Turn it up". It's sonic gold, people.)
Really.
Before, I was all like "Ho hum, another no-talent wannabe who's done everybody and everything except record an album records an album. File that in the Don Johnson file, please..."

And then...and then I heard THIS




I can't believe I was about to write her off as a no-talent bimbo.
What was I thinking?
What was I smoking?

I am SO going to have to run, not walk, to buy her album the absolute second it comes out.
Who doesn't want to hear more of THAT?

I'd download it, but my downloading of music is probably what killed this damn computer, so let's not mention that, hm'kay?
Thanks.

Everybody's into selling out lately.
Even our old friends, the Transformers.
Bastards!

Depeche Mode meets Tron

Yeah, you heard me right. I guess Michael Schiavo just published a book, Terri: The Truth, and some Hollywood types have already purchased the rights for a script. Sorry, the Variety link requires registration, but at least you get to confirm that I'm not making this shit up.


One of the producers, Mike Farrell (BJ of M*A*S*H* fame) is a raving Liberal, so this story is sure to raise some Conservative hackles. I first read this news over at Ain't It Cool News. The news blurb is followed by a very funny, very politically incorrect Talkback that I strongly encourage everyone to read.

My favorite reader suggestion? Have Meatwad play Terri. Get it? A meatwad playing a vegetable. Sigh.

A morning show I used to listen to, Tommy and Rumble, is broadcast on WNOR FM99 out of Norfolk, Virginia. Funnier than your ordinary morning show, thanks to one of them assheads-- is it Tommy, or Rumle? I never remember --does some darn good voices. Including a killer impression of Madame Debarge favorite, Pat Robertson.

Norfolk-- locals pronounce it Noh-fuk --is right in Pat Robertson's back yard. These guys do a pretty good job busting his balls. Here's a couple of clips.

The first one is no longer than a pop music single (3:01): Pat Robertson calls in to talk about Ariel Sharon, and a litany of other offensive stuff. It's ok, though, he's "just sayin'."

This second one is longer (5:41) but it's a good one: Pat Robertson shills for his weight loss shake, and speaks about his calling for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.

"In an era when conservative Christians enjoy access and influence throughout the federal government, the organization that fueled their rise has fallen on hard times.

"The once-mighty Christian Coalition, founded 17 years ago by the Rev. Pat Robertson as the political fundraising and lobbying engine of the Christian right, is more than $2 million in debt, beset by creditors' lawsuits and struggling to hold on to some of its state chapters."


Just imagine the Grinch-like smile on my face at this moment.
Heh.

You can read the rest of the article here.

But it looks like a way to pay for the war...

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - A Malaysian man said he nearly fainted when he received a U.S. $218 trillion phone bill and was ordered to pay up within 10 days or face prosecution, a newspaper reported Monday.

Yahaya Wahab said he disconnected his late father's phone line in January after he died and settled the 84-ringgit (U.S. $23) bill, the New Straits Times reported.

But Telekom Malaysia later sent him a 806,400,000,000,000.01-ringgit (U.S. $218 trillion) bill for recent telephone calls along with orders to settle within 10 days or face legal proceedings, the newspaper reported.



That's right, bitch! We want our damn telephone call money!
And, I wonder how much it would take to run up that sort of phone bill. How many different people calling where for how long...since it was only the end of January, max about 3 months, since he paid off the phone bill.
About the only time I feel like figuring that shit out is in the middle of the night when I can't sleep, and it's 1:30 in the afternoon.

Sometimes, we all need Batman to tell it to us straight.
And sometimes Batman gets a little lonely when his wife goes to New York for two weeks and he's really really bored.

Hugh Hefner is a fabulous 80 years old today.
He has proclaimed that "80 is the new 40".
Well, that's totally apt in a year that fashion mavens proclaimed, not at all ironically, that "black is the new black".
Heh.

Anyway, here's a couple pics of everybody's favorite smoking jacket model.



Mmm, when he actually WAS 40...

With those 6 girlfriends...jesus, maybe THIS is why I can't get a date. Well, a date with a halfway decent guy. They're in such short supply it's time to start doubling up.




And is it creepy to say that he just jumped the shark on my list of hot men a couple years ago?
About the same time as Sean Connery, actually. Like 3 years ago.
I'll shut up now.

As a young lad growing up in West Virginia, my mind was captivated by all manner of mystery.

Was Bigfoot living in the woods behind my house?

Would we ever get indoor plumbing?

What does tobacco juice taste like?

Little did I know that the mystery to end all mysteries lay a mere two hundred miles from my doorstep. I'm talking, of course, about...The Mystery Hole!!!


The outside looks harmless enough, but the Volkswagen Bug crashed into the side of the building is an omen. The human mind can't even comprehend the wonder and the majesty of...The Mystery Hole!!!


At this point you realize the Universe, as you know it, is about to change forever. Everything you thought you knew about nature, physics and professional baseball will change once you enter...The Mystery Hole!!!


Your heart races. Your breathing quickens. You want to turn back but you can't! You must know what is inside. You must take the final plunge into...The Mystery Hole!!!

A sign above the door reads:

An experience that will intrigue you the rest of your life.
Nature's gravity seems to have gone haywire and your sense of balance is extremely upset.
If your heart can take it, see the laws of nature defied.
People with heart ailment, vertigo, or high blood pressure do not enter.
Not responsible for accidents or after effects.
Shoes recommended.

Why wear shoes? They'll just be knocked onto your ass, anyway!

Finally, you take a deep breath, gather your courage, take a shot of tobacco juice and descend the steps into...The Mystery Hole!!!


Uh...you ready to hit the gift shop?