Braindead Shithead

Hello all.
Day in and day out, I scour the internet as a whole for those stories and videos that will best inform you of current trends, cutting edge news from around the world, and high-spirited frivolity.

Today, though, I have a sadder mission in mind.

I realize that while some of us may hear of a fad, song, or book that's sweeping the nation, we don't get to fully experience it, due often to circumstances beyond our control. (i.e., someone tells us it's stupid)

In the spirit of "Let's see it for ourselves, and then decide", I bring you this wonderful little opus to Fergie's ample attributes.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's "My Humps".
And shame on you for making an opinion before you've seen/heard/experienced this magical song for yourself!




Remember, it might be easier to make fun of something before you've seen it, but it's so much more satisfying to make fun of it when you have reference points.
Like actual lyrics.

"mix your milk with my co-co puff
milky milky co-co"

Really, it's so much more effective when you can whip out a line or two.
Or have your 6 year old sing the first lines.

so it's time for some Andy Kaufman.
Because, after all, don't we ALL love grandma?

And now I have the proof. Thanks to Kirk Cameron and this "expert" dude, I can now prove that God exists and that atheists are stupid. Thank you, Mr. Cameron!

Pay close attention around the 3-4 minute mark, where Kirk and the dude prove that God is real by using a banana. They illustrate the "intelligent design" of the banana; the neat "tab" at the top to pull down. Hey, don't most primates eat bananas from the other end? Oh, never mind the facts. Just watch the videos and prepare to have your ass rocked back to Jesus!

Synergy is a wonderful thing. Yesterday I found an amazing movie trailer that was just begging for the Braindead Shithead treatment. Lo and behold, today Madame emails me about another great video featuring film clips! What a blessed day this is.

The first video is a cover of "People are People" by RuPaul. It features clips from the upcoming movie, Zombie Prom. Looks like a winner.



Next, comes a blast from the past. Rudy Ray Moore is...the human tornado! See the trailer for his film, Disco Godfather. I would get this one quick, as I'm already on YouTube's shitlist.



(via)

Dear lord, I have just one thing to ask of you tonight as I say my prayers.
Please, god, please, make the bad video game into movie genre die.
Die a swift and painful death.
Preferably with a roundhouse kick to the head from Chuck Norris, but if he's too expensive, I hear Steven Seagal is pretty unemployed these days...


THIS, people, is why I don't generally go see movies.
It takes a few seconds to get to the preview, don't worry, it's not all black...





Sure, it's chock full of chicks kicking ass, but what I REALLY want to know is...

Did they manage to get the boobie turn bounce properly?
You know what I'm talking about.
"Whoosh, boing boing boing"

Seriously, the first time I ever saw that I was at a Subway in Columbus, Ohio, hanging out with three lesbians in the middle of the night, and I saw that shit on one of the arcade games out of the corner of my eye.
I had to go play it, of course.
And then some Tekken, but that's for another post.
This one, it's all about the "whoosh, boing boing boing".


Though, now that I'm on a spree, here's the Dead or Alive I'd love to see in a movie.
Full of big hair and shiny fabric and an eye patch or two.
Because I want some, want some.

"I Got Six" marks the halfway mark of Multiplication Rock.

I, too, am scarred by the '80s.
I love this deliciously snotty little song.
Because, after all, I know what boys like.
Boys like me.





(I almost typed that with a straight face...)

Okay, besides he's named Kevin, and I have an overabundance of that name in my life? (I have lots of Jason, too. Weird.)
He figured out the secret to YouTube.

Sorry I couldn't find this somewhere that had an embeddable video player!
But it's hilarious...

Check it out here

Apparently, Paris Hilton is covering "Do ya think I'm sexy".
Clearly, one more sign of the apocalypse.
I think we need to start a list...

Thanks to that horrific news-and coming right on the heels of "Suri Cruise", it was truly heartbreaking-I had to go look up my all-time favorite version of it.

That's right, the Revolting Cocks.
Here it is, off "Linger Fickin' Good".

(Besides, it beats what my neighbors-and I-are listening to. "E'rybody in the Club". Make the bad rap stop!)

Though, by some strange co-incidence, the lead singer looks like that nice Mennonite boy I refused to give a ride to that dark and stormy night...




"He says 'I'm sorry but I'm out of K-Y Jelly', 'Nevermind sugar, we can catch the early movie'" has to be one of my all time favorite lyrics.

This is a remarkable documentary of the famous Milgram obedience experiment. It was made and narrated by Milgram. About 45 minutes, but well worth the time to see the dark side of the species.

There is something oddly satisfying about seeing people fall, walk into things, and get hit in the head by various balls. Oh, yeah, and it's funny.

Breaking News: Katie Holmes has given birth, and dear god, they've given the child a stupid name.
Like we didn't think they would, but still.

"Suri".

It's a girl, by the way.

"Suri".

Like the area in Britain, only spelled stupider.

"Suri".

It's gonna take me a LONG time to get over this.
"Suri".

Even worse?

"Suri Cruise".
Gag.

The smoking gun, which will finally prove that Barry Bonds used steroids, has surfaced. Thanks to Mookie for getting the ball rolling on this.

The Gatorade Conspiracy Read it. Hilarious!
-and-
The Gatorade Conspiracy Part II: The Cover-up Continues
From: Basketbawful

I remember seeing this dude on Carson back in the 80's. That was a different time, when people could actually smoke! This guy used to do tricks with bubbles and cigarette smoke. This video is pretty bad quality, but the tricks with the smoke are still cool.


(via)

Alternate post title: Save Katie

Tom 'to eat afterbirth'

Dude!

...the Mission Impossible star has apparently vowed to eat Katie's placenta straight after she has given birth as he believes it will be very nutritious.

But let's not rush to judgement, now. After all, even the article that characterizes Tom as a crazy, desperate, sofa leaping, media whore out to shock the world, deigns to mention:

Eating the placenta, placentophagia, is practised in many parts of the world-

OK, so it's perfectly normal.

Via The Defeatists.

This my friends is how the downfall of the human race begins! Well, I say they must be stopped now before they figure out how to operate our computers. Of course, should the giant cockroaches achieve technological superiority then just let me say for the record that I for one welcome our new tech-savvy Blaberid overlords!

Grandaddy really achieved critical (if not commercial) success in 2000 with their 2nd album, The Sophtware Slump. This generated lofty expectations for their eventual follow-up, Sumday. It took the band years to complete Sumday, much to the consternation of their record label, V2. So eager was V2 that they made repeated calls to the home of frontman, Jason Lytle.

Well, Jason and the gang got a great idea to screw with the boys at V2 but good! Over the course of three alcohol-fueled days, Grandaddy recorded an album for V2. It wasn't quite the album V2 was expecting, though.


Yes, The Ham and its Lily was the album V2 received...and they freaked! By all accounts, people were almost fired over the joke. Executives were convinced Lytle had lost his mind and needed rehab. Once things were smoothed over, The Ham and its Lily was officially credited to Grandaddy's alias, Arm of Roger.

Funny thing is; the album is pretty good! It is so bad, so bizarre, so utterly bereft of continuity, that it rocks pretty hard. I dare you to listen to the song "One Time They Called And Asked For Freddy" and not be humming it 2 days later.

Anyway, that is the history of this bizarre album, now here is the album.

The Ham and its Lily by Arm of Roger

UPDATE:

I almost forgot this truly stupid video that I, J.R. Kinnard, made for "The Pussy Song". Yeah, nothing to be proud of, but somebody is watching it. It has almost 20,000 hits through vSocial!

I've been in a musical mood this weekend, so the next few posts will probably involve some audio delights.

Here is a little song I came across. It's called, "Dear Mr. Jesus". What a heartwarming little song it is!