Braindead Shithead

Found this a long time ago at a blog I have long since forgotten (sorry about that). After hearing these 1 minute clips, I completely understand why so many housewives were hopped-up on goofballs.

1. Prime Choice Good
2. Buying Frozen Meat
3. Symbols Of Quality
4. Use Your Thermometer
5. The 'How To Buy Meat' Suite

While it has neither spandex or the Hoff, I thought I'd point out this BBC story that Google is thought to be in talks to buy YouTube for $1.6 billion.

"The Wall Street Journal said discussions between the two sides were at a sensitive stage and the talks could break up.

Neither Google nor YouTube were available for comment.

Launched in February 2005, YouTube has grown quickly into one of the most popular websites on the internet, with 100 million videos viewed every day."

Good for the YouTube guys, but I'm not sure this will be good for us if the deal goes through. And yeah, this means I rely on the British press for most of my news as opposed to American sources like The Wall Street Journal. What would you expect from a godless commie liberal?

Hey, it's that time of year when the whole world sticks it to old JC by celebrating a holiday that leaves James Dobson, Pat Roberts and Tammy Faye Baker quaking in their vestments. Now you too can get a jumpstart against the neighbors in the War on Christmas by playing Halloween Dressup Jesus. Fun for big ghouls and little ghouls too.

Click the pic for my Pastafarian Jesus. There didn't seem to be any leather pants so I had to make do with some of Madame's thriftstore spandex.

I guess it was only a matter of time.

I was banned from YouTube!

The first strike was the infamous, "How many naked asian girls can you fit inside a phone booth" video. I thought it was an educational video, but the prudes at YouTube disagreed.

The second strike was bullshit, plain and simple. I was informed that the ancient, widely available on the Internets, "flying through space" HBO intro was in violation of their copyright policy. Huh? That frickin' footage is 25 years old! Anyway, I thought it was bullshit, and I told them as much in a pointed e-mail (to which they never replied!).

I got the third strike over the weekend. Once again, it was due to objectionable content.


Yep, it was the "Disco Godfather" trailer. The trailer contained mild profanity and flashes of nudity. I suppose I can't argue with the obscenity claims. What pisses me off, however, is the fact that the video has been posted for over six months! And they complain about it now? That seems kinda crooked to me.

I have actually built a following on YouTube, thanks in no small part to the Russian video of transplantation experiments from the 1940's. That video had nearly 200,000 views and was growing rapidly. I had dozens of subscribers and lavish praise from hundreds of YouTubers. Now, all of that is gone. All that remains is this:


Oh, sure, I'll figure out some way around the ban; creating aliases and dodging 'The Man' in my efforts to entertain, as well as educate. But it will never be the same.

It will never match the excitement of the first time a commenter called me a "juvenile asshole!" It will never provoke the same emotion as when a viewer questioned my sexuality, my penis size, and the genetic purity of my ancestory.

Ah, those were the days.

Check out the Yacht Rock series on You Tube. There's at least ten episodes, though I've only gone through four so far, myself. Here's the first one:


[Via: The Poor Man]

Holy crap this is hilarious. The Smoking Gun has an 18 page concert rider for...well, they don't say a year or tour it was for, but is apparently written by a roadie named Joe Grain, and is freaking hilarious.

I'm still reading it, and it's long, but trust me, it's worth it.

Awesome pictures of the simply massive stormdrain network beneath Tokyo. This comes to us from the incredible music and culture blog RedRuin.com who tells us that the vertical shafts are big enough to accomodate the space shuttle! Lots of pictures at the site.

Nobody loves the holidays as much I do. And so, as the leaves fall from the trees and the days grow shorter, my mind drifts to visions of Halloween goblins and Christmas cookies. Perhaps nothing combines Halloween and Christmas quite like a Twisted Sister Christmas album. Yes, I said a Twisted Sister Christmas album!

Here are three selections from the upcoming Twisted Sister Christmas CD, A Twisted Christmas. The songs are (as if it really mattered!) "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus," "White Christmas," and "Heavy Metal Christmas," which counts down the 12 Heavy Metal days of Christmas.

Oh, the humanity!

At least I think this is supposed to be a parody. Apparently done by Indian pop-star Chiru, who if you watch his other videos on YouTube could be the Indian answer to David Hasselhoff.

I decided to drop the "Sunday" qualifier so I can post whenever the urge (and the energy) strikes.

Mostly zippy indie rockers today. The song by The Dears is terrific, as is the new Stereolab. God help me, the song by Theatre of Tragedy is like auditory crack.

Even though the immortal Devin Townsend has produced 2 awesome metal albums this year, the new CD by Agalloch is pushing him hard for 'Best Metal of '06'. This despite the fact it's sung by Gollum. Seriously, I expected the dude to say "What is taters, precious?" at any moment.

Pay attention to the cheeky number "Big Bang" by Cursive. It's a tasty little sacrilege about God, reason, and "snakes with apples". Lastly, an "ode" to the Mansion Family murders. The song starts, inexplicably, with an unrelated sound clip before settling into an earnest examination of the Tate murders, complete with yodeling. Did I mention this is a Song-Poem selection? Yeah. That explains a lot.

Mix time: 45 minutes
Rapidshare Link (with 'unrated' bonus material)

I'm almost sorry to have to post this. Because as I'm doing it, I'm beginning to overload with sarcasm.
I am so sure that Jesus is sitting up in heaven, thinking aloud, and asking himself "Jesus, where should I appear next, so as to help prove to those that follow my teachings that I am still here, that I am real, and that I am with them?
Boy, nothing says 'bringing in the souls' to me today like a dog's ass!"
Right.
So, here you go. It's the newest sighting. Dog Butt Jesus.
Which, as I type it, sounds like a good name for a punk band.






Angus MacDougall is a three-year-old terrier mix that has recently been blessed with the revered and holy image of Jesus Christ on his hindquarters.


Via

So, I don't know how much you might notice this, depending on who your email service is, but the spam these days? It's starting to sound like poetry.

Now, I'm not talking your Shakespeare here, though, maybe given enough spam and a roomfull of monkeys (because you always have to have the monkeys) he could be recreated, but I have Gmail, and in addition to telling me the subject, it also give me a "preview" line. So, I get to see a little bit of what the email is about.

This is what is currently in my spam folder

In a trustworthy without warning the face of hijacked grew sullen
Black angry mouths, the clouds...
feline salad derives takes a tabloid.
cold globule.
behind a cashier chess to submarine.
In a scalpel without warning the face of faithfully grew sullen
Black angry mouths, the clouds
Orientation was a huge room with about fifty wooden tables
I was sitting alone at one of these
squid.
dreamlike now find for perverse cypres a
.wheelbarrow.
cargo photon.

The breaks are mine, the punctuation is what was there. I left out two where they were asking me if I was having troubles with the wife or telling me all about their 200 software titles, because they were just boring and would have ruined the flow.

But tell me you haven't been to open mic nights that could have benefitted from something like that.