Braindead Shithead
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Oh no they di'n't!
Please, god, please, make the bad video game into movie genre die.
Die a swift and painful death.
Preferably with a roundhouse kick to the head from Chuck Norris, but if he's too expensive, I hear Steven Seagal is pretty unemployed these days...
THIS, people, is why I don't generally go see movies.
It takes a few seconds to get to the preview, don't worry, it's not all black...
Sure, it's chock full of chicks kicking ass, but what I REALLY want to know is...
Did they manage to get the boobie turn bounce properly?
You know what I'm talking about.
"Whoosh, boing boing boing"
Seriously, the first time I ever saw that I was at a Subway in Columbus, Ohio, hanging out with three lesbians in the middle of the night, and I saw that shit on one of the arcade games out of the corner of my eye.
I had to go play it, of course.
And then some Tekken, but that's for another post.
This one, it's all about the "whoosh, boing boing boing".
Though, now that I'm on a spree, here's the Dead or Alive I'd love to see in a movie.
Full of big hair and shiny fabric and an eye patch or two.
Because I want some, want some.
Seriously, I think we're in for trouble this year at the movies. Last year had so many thoughtful films (or "liberal" if you like) that performed poorly at the box office, I expect lots of brainless action this year.
MadameD, I love that song. We need more pirates in shiny fabric on the silver screen acting as role models for our young these days. You do know I'm stealing it for a future FNV. Maybe I could do an all pirate edition to pay tribute to the Flying Spaghetti Monster (may his noodly appendage touch you).
You could do it when National Talk Like A Pirate Day rolls around.
I still want to know about the Triple Boobie Bounce. If that's not in there, it's just not worth watching.
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