to have a baby?
This ancient (no pun intended...well, maybe...) question is not often aimed at men, usually at the women who are now using IVF to have babies older than ever.
A British woman just got pregnant at 62, using IVF, and, dear god, she says she did it to "cement" her relationship with her current husband.
Y'know, all age inappropriate remarks aside, having a baby to "cement" a relationshipt is NEVER an adequate reason to have a child. I don't care if you're 22, 37, or 45. It's just stupid. Especially if you already have children from a previous relationship. It's one thing to want more children, that's totally separate from "Now that we're together, let's make it last (cough cough BULLSHIT cough) by having a baby!"
Millions of single mothers the world over cry "FOUL!"
In my case, my son was planned. By both of us, not just me planning and schemeing.
I also know that I was a "save the marriage" baby, a last ditch effort to make things last a little while longer. Which they did. And my father got a vasectomy while my mother was still pregnant, tried to do it behind her back, actually, which totally goes to show you how well THAT tactic worked.
On the other hand, my mother went on to have four additional children with her second husband, and in a month they have their 20th anniversary.
My mom is 56 now, and her youngest child just turned 13. I thought she was too old at 43 to have another child, especially having 4 children in 5 years, but she was doing what was right for her, and never passed the burden of child-rearing off on someone else, even me, who would have been a logical choice of "instant babysitter".
On the other hand, a former pastor and his wife, who didn't believe in birth control, had, I believe, a 31 year age gap before their first and last children. Yeah, that's healthy. She, however, DID pass the onus of childrearing onto her older children. Any time I went over to play with Beth, who was my age, she was in charge of Mikey, who was not quite 2 at the time. Eula, two years younger, was in charge of David, who was 4. I never saw a more tired, worn-out seeming woman in my life than Karen Tucker.
Anyway, Guinness has the oldest woman giving birth at age 66, one Adriana Illiescu. Adding to the whole "ew" factor inherent in that, and the argument that she can have the fun of being pushed on a wheelchair into her child's kindergarten graduation, she's also single, and from what I can find, this is her only child.
Who is going to take care of this child? As a professor and writer, I know that this is not something she went into lightly, and probably has "in case of" plans set up in triplicate, but it still beggars the question-why do this to a child in the first place? Set them up to have their only parent die while they are young?
This woman will be 80 when her daughter STARTS high school.
I'm 26, will be 27 in a few months.
My son will also be 7 in a few months.
I didn't want him to have the same problems/feelings I did growing up, with much older (11 years) and much younger (8 when Adam was born, 13 when Nathan was) siblings. It's not fair to him, and it's not fair to anyone, really.
I haven't done anything permanent about it, but it's going to take quite a persuasive argument for me to have another child. I'd still like one, but I am not selfish enough just to have one because I want one. Babies aren't like ice cream cones.