Braindead Shithead
Monday, May 22, 2006
Sex Is for Fags
Take the pledge, boys:
I, [MY NAME], hereby pledge:
1. To stay massively cool by not having sex. Because only major losers have sex – which everyone knows is only for fags.
2. To never let any slutty girls peer pressure me into touching their vaginas – because vaginas are totally gay.
3. To ignore my raging hormones and burning drive to fondle, suckle, and thrust furiously into a hot gooey pit of creamy-soft fleshy ecstasy.
4. To keep my groinal giblets inside my GAP khakis, and to punch those sweaty bits into submission whenever they percolate with desire.
5. To never spill my sacred "dude milk" – unless it is inside of some hot babe who already married me and took my last name.
Don't dispair, girls, there's a program for you too: Iron Hymen
Okay, this is sad.
Though, yeah, nice description on number three.
Now, I think I have to find the Man-Punk pledge.
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