Braindead Shithead
Monday, June 05, 2006
Oh god. Not another one.
A woman in India married a snake.
Not just any snake, a COBRA.
(insert snarky G.I. Joe reference here)
It was apparently a lovely ceremony, with 2,000 guests.
Jesus, if I ever get married again, I might be lucky to have 20 guests. There were 7 people at my wedding, and only 2 of those were spectators.
Right.
"The 30-year-old bride, Bimbala Das, said: "Though snakes cannot speak nor understand, we communicate in a peculiar way". (um, okay. Communicate as in, I stand around and talk to my snake/husband, and he stays in his hole. Wow, just like a real marriage!)
"Whenever I put milk near the ant hill where the cobra lives, it always comes out to drink.
(Way to a man's heart through his stomach, and all that...)
"I always get to see it every time I go near the ant hill. It has never harmed me."
(and that's a basis for a marriage? What, would a bite be grounds for divorce?) "
"The Press Trust of India says priests have chanted mantras to seal the union but the cobra failed to come out of a nearby ant hill where it lives.
A brass replica snake stood in for the hesitant groom."
(is it just me, or does that not bode too well for the marriage-the damn thing wouldn't even come out for the wedding?)
"Ms. Das, from a lower caste, converted to the animal-loving vegetarian Vaishnav sect, whose local elders gave her permission to marry the cobra."
(yeah, okay, this one has me totally confused. I didn't realize there was such a thing as permission to marry an animal. I mean, shouldn't you be asking the animal itself? Clearly, it's not as amused at this as I am.)
"Ms Das has moved into a hut built close to the ant hill since the wedding."
It says in the article that she was sick-not with what, just sick-and that since she started feeding the cobra, she's gotten better.
Hmmm...maybe that would work for me! I'll just scoot on down to the local Pet-Co and start feeding the snakes there. I wonder...if one is good, would two or more be better?
But, this last sentence makes it all make sense.
"Earlier this year, a tribal girl was married off to a dog on the outskirts of Bhubaneswar."
Right.
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