Braindead Shithead
Monday, June 05, 2006
A Snake! On An Airplane! In Real Life! Nooooooo...!
When will they learn? It's a small plane too, which means it's concentrated evil.
Monty Coles was 3,000 feet in the air when he discovered a stowaway peeking out at him from the plane's instrument panel — a 4 1/2-foot black snake.
"Nothing in any of the manuals ever described anything like this," the 62-year-old Cross Lanes resident said. But the advice given 25 years earlier from his flight instructor immediately came to mind: "No matter what happens, fly the plane."
Yes, that's always good advice when 3,000+ feet off the ground, because as we all know, it's not the falling part, it's the stopping that hurts. But what about that snake?
While maintaining control of the single-engine plane with one hand, Coles grabbed the reptile behind its head with his other.
"There was no way I was letting that thing go. It coiled all around my arm, and its tail grabbed hold of a lever on the floor and started pulling," Coles said.
So, could we say Mr. Coles was, umm, "choking the snake?" Knowwhatahmean knowwhatahmean, wink wink, nudge nudge?*
Thankfully Mr. Coles was able to radio for assistance and get to ground safely. It's rumored the snake was attempting to secure passage to India in time for it's wedding.
Thanks to coturnix at Science and Politics for this find.
*Hah! I slay me. A Monty Python joke in a story about snakes! And because we're all about value here at Braindead Shithead, I even threw in that Terry Gilliam reference up top for free.
This is just like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark, when Indy has the snakes in the plane and then...oh, nevermind.
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